Lightheaded...

[New York Daily News Report]

The unbearable lightheadedness of 'Being Bobby'

2 stars

BEING BOBBY BROWN
June 30, Bravo, 10 p.m.

Move over Nick and Jessica, there's a new celebrity couple ready to take over your reality show mantle - Bobby Brown and wife Whitney Houston.

Indeed, where Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson were cute, sweet and often goofy on their MTV show, Brown and Houston are downright freaky.

It's hard to watch "Being Bobby Brown" - the new Bravo reality show on Brown and Houston - without wondering, what the heck were they thinking?

Maybe they weren't.

Houston, once a mega-star, comes off in the first two episodes looking weird, thin, detached and, at times, out of it. Brown, best known for his run-ins with the law, comes off as, well, likable.

"I'm not a bad guy," Brown says at one point. "I don't rob anybody. I don't carry any guns. I like guns - call me a collector."

Make that almost likable.

There's a wonderful scene in a restaurant when Brown is freed after charges of slapping his wife.

"They gave me a 35-minute lecture on what our foods do to our system," Houston tells the posse while they're eating. "There are these little bugs, on the walls of your stomach ... There's a booger in there, he's got two fangs."

Brown appears to get angry.

"Stop talking about asses in front of my food," he says. "S---, I can't even chew my food."

Viewers soon will forget Simpson's classic Chicken of the Sea gaffes - and they won't want to look away at this freak parade.

Houston goes around most of the time with her head covered by a long scarf and often bristles when fans ask for autographs or look on while she's swimming.

"Y'all don't understand what it's like being my wife," Brown says. "People be on her 2-4/7."

Brown, meanwhile, revels in the attention.

"We're shooting a reality TV show for Bobby Brown," Brown tells two older men at a restaurant in the first show.

"I've not met Bobby Brown," one man says, not recognizing the man standing before him.

"I'm Bobby on a regular basis," Brown says. "I'm not in an orange jumpsuit. That's why you probably don't recognize me."

He then puts his arms behind his back as if in handcuffs.

"Recognize me now?" he says.

Hey, you can't say Brown doesn't have a sense of humor.

"Being Bobby Brown," which will air Thursdays at 10 p.m. starting June 30, is no documentary. Footage was shot by Brown's crew and then sold to Bravo, which makes this more interesting. Because from the stuff that did make the cut, one wonders what they left out.

And fear not, this is no "Chaotic" with Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, which consists of choppy hand-held video shot by the couple. Brown, seeking image rehabilitation, paid a team to shoot his show.

"Being Bobby Brown" provides a fascinating look at two fallen and faded stars, who will never again be America's darlings - like Nick and Jessica - but who are still fun to watch for just that reason.

Where Nick and Jessica were fun, Brown and Houston are like getting a closeup view of a train wreck without actually getting on the tracks. We don't need to see this, but we'll look anyway.

Originally published on June 8, 2005
 

NEWSFILE: 8 JUNE 2005